I'm a horrible volunteer at the after-school program. The kids don't take me seriously, even when I use my angry voice. The worst part is, sometimes I find them hilarious when they're being naughty so I have to use every muscle in my face to not laugh. Ugh. Good think I have a break for a few days to muster up my courage again. I'm just going to say it was an off day. Yesterday one little girl asked "How do you get your hair so straight?" She's Hispanic and has long, beautiful curly hair. I tried to answer with a matter-of-fact way but I couldn't resist smiling.
Sometimes I wonder what these kids have as their home life. I think about this because of certain instances that have happened. One boy showed me his new shoes and it was obvious how excited he was, but it was also obvious that his shoes were not new. Then today, one girl asked me if my mom and dad ever fight. I just wonder sometimes.
Last night was my role-play for my suicide kit. It was slightly weird but mostly because it was just me and my classmate "pretending." As she was pretending to be the client, she started to tell me that thinking about cutting chicken's heads off made her feel better. How do you respond to that? I responded by putting my head down and taking long, deep breaths before moving on. I think I might fail when we have to do a role-play in front of the whole class. I just get the giggles too much.
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