Day 54

My group is doing our role play tonight for the rest of the class. Cross your fingers for us. I'm honestly just hoping that I don't start laughing, which is going to be extremely tough. I wonder if I could videotape it using my laptop....hmmm, interesting thought.....

Last night I got to watch a K-9 unit demonstration with the Sandy Police Department. It was beyond amazing. I'm pretty sure my mouth was open the whole time. I'm thinking that I need to somehow use them for a fundraiser assignment due next month.... I sure hope it works out. 

Today at the after-school program the kids were on one. It made me feel slightly better because my day was rough, so knowing they were having a bad day somehow made mine not so bad. These kids are starting to grow on my heart and I don't know how it's going to be when I have to say goodbye. Yesterday one little girl asked my dad (who helps run the program) why I came every day. He said it was because I loved them. They all said "ewwwww" like you would expect but I found myself nodding and thinking, "I really do love them, even if they drive me crazy."

Today was just one of those days where I had to stop and let myself cry for a few minutes. Everything was just wrong at the moment and I found myself wanting to quit my job right then and there. It's been a stressful week so I know I'm taking my emotions out of my job but I seriously can't wait for the day to walk out and be a stay-at-home mom. Knowing that one day this will happen is the only thing keeping me going. Everyone keeps saying it'll be here before you know it, but I'm starting to get impatient. I wish I had some magic machine that would say "On this day you can quit because you and Eric will be ready to start a family." If only our world was magical. 

I'll end with my dream last night. I was with 2 other men (can't remember who they were) and we were POWs (prisoners of war). It had been 5 years and we were finally making our escape. We were able to cross enemy lines and reach safe soil where an embassy had been set up for the United States. We were welcomed with open arms and our families were transported to come see us. I vividly remember running to my mom, sobbing, and hugging her. Then I saw my dad and hugged him too. I remember wondering where Eric was because I couldn't see him. Then I woke up. 

So basically I have no idea if Eric ever showed up. It left me with a lot of questions.